What I Finally Understand...

by Diane Brown

The Catholic church was a central focus for our family growing up.
My father was the custodian of our church, cemetery, and our new parochial school which I attended. The school opened with first and second grade, adding a new grade each year until 8th grade. Attending 2nd grade through 8th, my class was the first to “graduate” from St. Mary. Back then the sisters did not drive, and they could not go anywhere without another sister present. At the time my mom was a stay-at-home mom available after school to take the sisters to appointments such as the dentist with my brother and I tagging along.
One would think that I should have a great knowledge of the Bible and Catholic teachings learning from the Baltimore Catechism. What I did learn was how to care for family, friends, and neighbors. What I didn’t learn was that the Eucharist is the Body and Blood, soul and divinity of our Lord Jesus Christ. Somewhere along the way I missed that lesson and grew up believing the Eucharist was a symbol of Christ’s sacrifice for us and mass was an obligation I needed to keep.
Starting in high school I worked with Sr. Pat who started a CCD program for children with special needs. It was a gift to work with these children, watching them become excited about receiving the Body of Christ. Following graduation from college with a teaching degree in Special Education I taught alongside another sister who also started a CCD program for children and adolescents with special needs. In hindsight the students probably knew the bread and wine were the Body and Blood of Christ even though I didn’t. They were always excited about what we were teaching them which didn’t need any deep theology on my part. I remember being asked once what I thought of the Eucharist. I believed and said it was a symbol rather than the true Body and Blood of Christ.
Though active in my parish, I was a cafeteria catholic most of my adult life, believing what I wanted to fit my life. It took a homily by a new pastor for me to finally hear and understand that the bread and wine are not symbols but truly the Body and Blood or our Lord. Last year was the diocesan Eucharistic event in Lowell which I attended though it was something out of my comfort zone. The event was wonderful and very powerful, ending with a procession following Cardinal Sean who carried the Monstrance through some streets in Lowell to a local church. Because of this experience I felt called to attend the National Eucharistic Conference. Though still somewhat outside my comfort zone, I signed up and have since met the others from our collaborative who will be attending. I pray often asking what Jesus will expect from me when it is over. I expect to come home from Indianapolis with an even greater understanding, love and faith in the Eucharist and our Catholic faith.
Diane Brown